There is no denying I have struggled with my nutrition, I can say it is definitely what holds me back the most! I know that weightloss is 70% what you eat, and I know exactly what I am suppose to be eating,I honestly know everything I need to do to get to where I want to be…so why am I not?
Truth be told, I’m stuck in my comfort zone, and though getting my body back is the thing I want most, it really is hard for me to start! The real me is trapped in this body, with my comfort/protection layer covering me(which in reality is the weight I’ve put on since I moved). It shields me from putting myself out there –I am too self conscious to join groups,classes,ect– I feel like I can hide in a crowd-no one notices the chubby girl when there are stick thin beauties around– and I think what I’m scared of most is truly being happy! I don’t know why that seems scary, but I feel like it could be a bit!
I have known that I really need to motivate myself, so I have done ALOT of reading! Fitness & Nutrition books are all I have read in the last 4 months (aside from Hunger Games…totally obsessed). I am ready for this, I am ashamed of failing continuously, I am ready to prove everyone who says I can’t that I CAN and I WILL!
This is my year, I feel so empowered right now, like I can accomplish anything, things will fall into place, and maybe that being happy wont be all that scary after all!
Holidays start tomorrow! Cabo in 6 days, and when I get back shits about to get real!
I would definitely say that my blogging is pretty reflective to my diet/fitness lifestyle!
For a while I will get a good streak going, then I fizzle out! Then start up again, then fizzle out! I have this same pattern with clean eating and working out, I kick ass, feel awesome, reward myself, get lazy then fall in a rut! I am working on this! Posts to come-
Though there are only a few posts posted, I have a ridiculous amount of drafts started! I’m still new to this form of blogging (I’m an ex beauty blogger, blog deleted after creepy ex was stealing my pictures). What I mean buy this is I’m slowly getting used to putting my self out there in a more vulnerable way! My journey has been ‘Messy’ thus far, exposing this aspect has proven to be a bit more harder then I thought it would…But, and I feel this is a big But (I like big buts and I cannot lie…haha sorry I had to) once I do finally let it all out I think will be like overcoming a huge hurdle for myself! I.Will.Get.There!!!
I know I have nothing but support and encouragement from the few readers I do have! I appreciate it more than you can imagine!
- to feel confidence
- to be healthy
- to fit into my “skinny” jeans
- to proudly wear a bikini on the beach
- to build a
better stronger body
- to go shopping and love what I see when I try stuff on
- a clean and healthy lifestyle
I Deserve, to be me again!
See that picture, that used to be me. 5’8.5 and 150 Lbs, that was my summer in bikinis,happy and loving myself. Though, I know now I was “soft skinny” as my trainers have taught me, but the soft skinny is better than where I am at today. It does give me proof that I can get myself back to there and have improvements and be even healthier and toned.
I can make up so many excuses to how I got to where I am now…but it all comes down to two things: Being put on Steroids for my Crohns Disease and Pure Laziness (I hate to admit mostly the 2nd option). I would honestly say I can credit 10 pounds to the steroids ( it was like 2 weeks and BAM,I almost looked pregnant fat right on my stomach)…and the rest…All Me, no excuses. My job strongly hinders my healthy lifestyle I’ve tried to lead. I work 12 hours a day sitting at a desk, surrounded by fast food and Double Doubles. And by the time I get home, I’m exhausted — from eating crappy food giving me no energy, and work draining me! Then there is my emotional eating that I had the realization I tend to do as well (which I will touch more on in a later post).
I don’t feel like myself anymore! I look in the mirror and don’t see ‘Me’. I’ve lost all my face definition (also side effect of my steroids called ‘Moon Face’, my legs are not as tones as they used to be, I feel like my neck is huge, This isn’t me. and this isn’t who I want to be.
I know what I have to do for the most part, I’ve done it before (except then I didn’t have 30 pounds to loose). I have the tools thanks to my trainers the lovely Tone It Up ladies! And now thanks to twitter I have met a whole support crew who I have to always support me.
Now I just have to do it, and I feel like this blog is my first step to doing so.
This is me!
Giving a go to blogging from the word press iPhone app! Seeing WP is blocked at work, apparently it makes for non productive employees or something, they forgot the little fact you can do just about everything from a cell phone these days! Whatevs, I’m running with it!
I have been thinking a lot about my blog, what direction I want to go with it and such. Truth is, One Fit Mess is going to be my outlet for so many things! Yes the main focus is my weightless journey! But expect a lot more!
When I ask my friends to describe me in three words they are almost always the following:
loyal, loving, random and outgoing …okay I know that’s four but really I get those responses equally!
So expect some randomness from me too!
What to expect in my next few posts
1-my weight story so far (later today)
2-a post about me,my life,ect
3-my current diet/exercise plan
Xo Tee (what most people call me)
Welcome to my little Bloggity Blog!
This is my new blog about my journey to getting fit once and for all!